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The recipe for family happiness!

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happy baby

Is there a recipe for two people to create a happy family and what are its secrets?

 

 

The agonizing questions for most parents of the post-war generation were how to provide their children with a stable environment without war and conflict and how to make them happy. Parents everywhere after World War II embarked on a hunt for material happiness, believing that the secret to a happy family was hidden there. About 70 years later, this recipe turned out to be wrong. Wars may not be global, but parents are still wondering how to make their children happy.

 

Great child psychologists and sociologists, such as Dreikurs, Piaget, Winnicot, have been involved in child psychology for decades and have drawn conclusions in dozens of books that parents now consult. After all, what are the ingredients of a happy family recipe with balanced kids?

 

3 Steps for family hapiness

 

1. Know Yourself: Socrates insisted that everything stems from self-knowledge. If you want to build a happy, beautiful and balanced family, you have to work hard as a parent, especially if you come from a dysfunctional family. You need to be clear about all the syndromes, record and identify any problems in your own childhood that may stand in the way or be repulsed by your own children. How different do you want your children's lives to be from yours and how realistic is that? It may sound vulgar or utopian, but it is very simple. As long as you know and acknowledge your flaws and strengths, acknowledge your parents' mistakes, forgive them and, free from the past, welcome your children into your new life.

 

Why do you have to do this? Many parents "drag" their past and leave it even unconsciously to influence and shape their relationship with their children, but also how to raise them. If, for example, a mother grew up in an oppressive environment that led her to marry early to escape without wanting to, she may be unconsciously blaming her children for the commitment she made and developing low self-esteem. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive. But when he recognizes where he is weak and tries to improve, this is reflected in his children.

 

 

2. Get to know your child: Many parents find it difficult to understand that their child may be carrying their own genes, but they are not made in the image and likeness. That is, it makes no sense to assume that their child is themselves in a small version or cloning! Certainly there are similarities, some external and some related to the character. However, this does not mean that the child does not have his own characteristics and special qualities that make him unique and therefore predictable. As with friends and with children, the parent must seek to know and learn better, a process that lasts a lifetime. The difference with friends is that the parent is the one who sets the boundaries and that there is an unbreakable blood bond within the family. Every day your children can surprise you.

 

 

Therefore, there is no user guide for children and therefore parents should take the time to learn them, understand their special needs and finally accept them. This makes children happy and not trying to change them into something they are not or never want to be. A typical example is the ardent desire of some parents to have their child become a doctor or a lawyer because they have this profession or because they dreamed of it. But how successful can a child who is even afraid of the sight of blood become a doctor? The parent's insistence on ignoring his child's inclinations can lead both sides to a conflict that will lead to the child becoming an unhappy adult and a failed professional.

 

 

3. Priorities and values: It is very important in your life to recognize what values ​​you believe in and what your priorities are. For example, you may consider family to be more important than having a perfect home. This will help you eliminate the guilt that usually overwhelms parents and does not allow them to enjoy family life, with a direct impact on children's psyche. When we talk about values, we do not mean everything your parents taught you, which you may not believe, respect or have been completely wrong. We mean values ​​and I believe that you promote yourself and your instinct tells you that they will help your children to live life and be happy!

baby walking

 

5 Goals towards Happiness

1. Cultivate their creativity and talents.

A creative child is a happy child and contrary to common belief, creativity is not only an innate talent but also an acquired skill that is cultivated. Teaching a child to explore all aspects of his mind will help him gain confidence and become a happy and productive adult.

 

2. No one is perfect!

Trying to make your children perfect doesn't help either them or you. Putting them in the process of trying without a hitch to conquer something uncertain, they lose all the good of the effort, lose their friends, their childhood and eventually become unhappy.

 

3. Give them hope!

Optimism and positive thinking did not hurt anyone, unlike the pessimism that creates many problems. And if you didn't know it, optimism is taught! So if you want balanced kids, teach them to see the positive side of things and hope for something better.

 

4. Teach them to be Gratitude for life!

Life is a precious commodity. But we often overlook or forget it. Don't do this as parents. Teach children to value the gift of life as a supreme good but also to show gratitude for the little things that make it so beautiful!

 

5. Love your children!

No gesture or gift, no matter how big, can replace the hug of mom and dad when the child is scared, happy, doubtful, sad. Parental love is unique, selfless and wonderful when you express it to your children every day!

The more love you give to your children, the happier and more balanced they will be!

 

 

Top Values for Parents

  • Learn how to read the "signals" your children send for their needs.
  • Leave space in their lives for play and joy.
  • Help them cultivate their special talents.
  • Make sure she is physically healthy and mentally healthy.
  • Let them give their own battle with their problems and finally conquer life.
  • Give them the right to express their sorrow and anger.
  • Be a role model for what you say and do.
  • Learn to deal with things that are worthwhile.

 

Wht children learn?

Rudolf Dreikurs, the famous psychiatrist, argues that children learn from the way they live. That is, depending on the environment provided by their parents and the psychological background, they shape their personality. Specifically, it states:

 

  • If a child lives in criticism, he learns to criticize.
  • If a child lives in hatred, he learns to quarrel.
  • If he lives in irony, he learns to be shy.
  • If a child lives in shame, he learns to constantly feel guilty.
  • If he lives in understanding, he learns to be patient.
  • If he lives in encouragement, he learns to trust.
  • If a child lives in praise, he learns to appreciate.
  • If a child lives in security, he learns to believe.
  • If a child lives in approval, he learns to have self-esteem.
  • If a child lives in acceptance and friendship, he learns to seek and find love in the world.

The parent's relationship with his child is exchangeable, not in the sense of a material confrontation but in the sense of exchange and interaction to shape his personality. That is why material benefits rarely shape happy children, as long as there are no rich mental benefits!

Remember that your children are not your clones! They have individual and special needs!

 

happy baby